The Hierarchy of Energy: The Secret to Smooth Relationships.

A few days ago, two women in their late twenties came to my counseling office.

The moment they sat down, one of them said:

"Can you guess what I do for a living?"

I laughed to myself.

'If a patient walked into a hospital and told the doctor, "Guess what's wrong with me" — what kind of face would that doctor make?'

Luckily, her friend stepped in.

"Hey, this isn't a fortune teller's. Why are you asking like that?"

That one line softened the whole room. We ended up having a great session.

But that moment stayed with me.

Because in that small exchange, the whole logic of human relationships was right there.

Up and Down — What's the Difference?

Most people think of it as strong vs. weak. Oppressor vs. victim.

But it's simpler than that.

It's about the "flow of energy"

The one above** has what the other person needs — money, power, experience, information, skills.

They have the right to lead. But with that comes the responsibility to treat the other person well.

The one below has come to receive something — a paycheck, knowledge, growth, healing.

That's not weakness. It's just a season of filling up.

First, Know Where You Stand

Even a president, standing before a golf coach, is below.

Because the coach has something they want.

It doesn't matter how much power or money you have. If the other person has what you need, you are the one below in that relationship.

And when you're below, your job is simple.

Listen — even when your ego doesn't want to.

That's what makes the person above want to give you their best.

Ignore this, and things fall apart in every room you walk into.

 Before You Point the Finger, Look Inward

When you're in the lower position and you notice the other person's flaws — silence is your greatest ally.

Attacking from below rarely ends well. The relationship sours fast, and the one who loses the most is the one who needed that relationship in the first place.

Instead, ask yourself:

"Do I have even a shadow of that in me?"

That one question can save a relationship. And quietly grow you at the same time.

 A Lighter Way to Live

Workplace tension. Conflict with a boss. That awkward friction with a colleague.

Dig down to the root of almost any relationship problem, and you'll find the same thing.

Simply knowing your place in the relationship — that's all it takes.

Most people try to win relationships.

But the real shift happens

when you understand the flow of energy between you and others.

I hope your day feels a little lighter. 

#Life Advice,